We all know it. We’ve all done it.
Blubbering, hot messes, with snot running down our faces.
Tissues in hand, mouth open, and wailing like a cat in heat.
It’s nothing to be ashamed of. We, as mere mortals, from
time to time, tend to get emotional. (Especially if you are watching The Notebook
)
Speaking of emotional movies with a strong female lead…… I’m
sorry…..oh we weren’t talking about that…..ok well anyways. HUNGER GAMES SEGUE!
Have you ever heard of a little movie called The Hunger Games??
What am I talking about, of course you have. If you haven’t, move to Canada,
you are un-American. This amazing piece of cinematic gold stars a little known
actress named Jennifer Lawrence. Our lovely leading lady plays the role of the
fierce Katniss Everdeen from District 12.
And can I tell you, what and actress!
She is basically a national treasure.
If you haven’t seen the second part of the movie series
don’t keep reading (there will be spoilers). And if you have then CONGRATS
you’re basically everyone in the world.
Our two leads, Peeta Mellark and Katniss Everdeen, now
victors of there very own Hunger Games, must become mentors for this years tributes.
This year, being a special 75th annual Hunger
Games/Quarter Quell, the rules have changed a little. Instead of picking new
tributes from each district they are being picked from the previous pool of
Hunger Game winners.
OH SNAP.
Now what does this mean for our recent victors??
They are pretty much up shit creek without a paddle. I mean,
I wasn’t a math major or anything but if you have 3 victors and 2 need people
are chosen it’s pretty clear that Peeta and Katniss will once again be back in
the Arena.
Ok so now that our victors have re-entered this dumb ass
death trap, how will they survive?
Allies you say.
Great.
Now whom should they trust?
- An old mute lady
- A hot headed bitch with a mouth like a truck driver
- Two Crazy genius techies
- That really hot guy, who is just a little bit too charming to trust
How about all of the above!
OK.. now fast track ….
So picture this. Sexy Peeta gets all Rambo on some vines
while trying lead his group through the jungle. He swings his machete right
into this electrical mine field and BOOM, he goes sailing through the air,
pretty much dead.
Suffice to say JLAW goes crazy. She runs to him and tries to
see if he is alive and when there is no response she goes MENTAL!
NOW…..Here is where we come full circle.
THE UGLY CRY.
Oh man Jennifer. You are beautiful and talented but for
lords sake your cry is UGLY.
Its looks like a fish trying to breath outside of water
mixed with the sounds of a seal that just got shot by a poacher.
Now you may say this is mean, and you would be right. But
come on if you’ve seen the movie you know I’m right.
She is a wailing hot mess.
And I’m not the only one who said this. She has said in
numerous interviews that she is working on her beautiful cry.
And we all know
she is not the only one who is an ugly crier. If you have even seen True Blood you
know that Anna Paquin is one Ugly Crier. Also Kim Kardashian is a notorious
ugly crier. I don’t think you could go one day with out seeing an internet GIF
of her crying.
All beautiful women. All ugly criers.
Now what to do about that?? Practice makes perfect ladies.
Tips: 1. Soft mouth (keeping a soft partially open mouth
keeps us from having our moths hanging open like a gupie )
2. Always breathe through your nose and out through your
mouth
3. The single tear is always beautiful (so try to control
that ladies and gents)
4. Bonus Tip: Watch every Terrance Howard movie ever made!
He basically is the master of the beautiful cry. Especially Hustle & Flow.
(I know you wouldn’t think it’s and emotional movie but come on, its Hard Out
There for a Pimp)
Now if you could just master the beauty cry Jennifer you would
have the whole package. You would basically be a triple threat……I mean with out
the dancing or the singing, cause your just an actress, but I mean……. I’m sure
you can do all of those things if you wanted to……OH, do you think they will
ever make a Broadway version of Hunger Games???
Alright…rambling. But you get what I mean. Which Brings me
too
Hottie of the Moment
Even with the Ugly Cry, all I want to do is be here best friend! Jennifer, if you are taking application let me know? And PS. I love this dress!
<3 JM
